I’m 17, and I’m completely lost

2022.01.29 01:37 iambecomeLIFE102704 I’m 17, and I’m completely lost

My mental health is awful.
My girlfriend has been really patient, but my mental health has rapidly declined in the past few days. She gets irritated when I talk about my mental health, because I make her feel useless.
This is because after she tries helping me, I still feel the same way.
My grandfather is dying of cancer, I have a job, and I have school.
To top that off, I feel like something is really wrong. A few days ago, I put the barrel of a gun to my chin and held it there.
Despite this, I have nobody else to tell. My friends just say “I’m here for you.”
My girlfriend is upset that I’m not getting better in a matter of days.
My parents are dealing with family stuff and already have so much to deal with.
What kills me is that my girlfriend won’t understand what I’m going through. Nobody will. I’m the reason my friends are distancing themselves from me, because I don’t put in effort. I’m the reason we always have issues. I’m the reason she’s stressed most of the time.
I’m the problem. I feel bad, I dump all of my mental health onto her, because I have no one else. She reminds me that she has other friends, and grades too worry about. She says that she wants me to be happy, because when I’m happy, she’s happy. When I’m upset, she’s upset.
I just want someone to show me that they care, to be patient. Not leave me when I need them the most.
My parents have been trying to find me a therapist, we just can’t find anyone.
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2022.01.29 01:37 Walrus_McCloud Three perfects, one oops… and a pool float to fill a space.

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2022.01.29 01:37 Born_Profession_906 Skins

Is it possible to put skins on snake scale skis? I like the convince of snake scale skis but it would be cool to add skins for better climbing potential if I wanted to.
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2022.01.29 01:37 Rocer Appreciating the XMB's wave background and it's colors.

I noticed that at around the afternoon, the color of my XMB's background was yellow, then around midnight it was dark and you could barely see the yellow. Then I started playing around with the date.
Each month has it's own color. January is yellow, February is lime, March is pink, April is green, May is purple, June is cyan, July is blue, August is a more pink, September is yellow, October is brown, November is red, and December is white.
And around 6:00 PM is when the color starts to darken. And at 2:00 AM you'll start seeing the color again. At least for me in the Eastern time zone.
I'm obviously not the first one to find this out but I love the small features like this that most don't notice nor care about but only notice colors changing.
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2022.01.29 01:37 Basic_Candidate9034 Hi everyone. Can anybody give me tips to manage time significantly better on ACT Reading?

I do pretty well in Reading now, actually. I can consistently get 9 to 10 of the questions right per passage, in the case that timing is not an issue.
But, now, I am struggling to find ways to comprehend the passage even faster to do the test on time...
And I sometimes do freeze or panic when it takes me longer than usual to find a specific detail in the passage that is required to answer a question...
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2022.01.29 01:37 melancholia- A most elegant pin by sister Azusa Christie

A most elegant pin by sister Azusa Christie submitted by melancholia- to TJPW [link] [comments]

2022.01.29 01:37 _peace_lily My sunbathing Philodendron gloriosum and its heart-shaped shadows 💚

My sunbathing Philodendron gloriosum and its heart-shaped shadows 💚 submitted by _peace_lily to houseplants [link] [comments]

2022.01.29 01:37 Packerbacker1991 Easy Chime $100 Referral Bonus

Chime $100 Referral Bonus Link
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You just have to initiate the transfer from an external source such as a bank, cashapp, ect and not from within the Chime app. If done from Chime’s end, it will most likely not qualify as a direct deposit.
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2022.01.29 01:37 Quick_Frosting_635 [ps4]H:Energy Gun bobbleheads w: fusion cores

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2022.01.29 01:37 Goldplatedplate Cuddle buddies

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2022.01.29 01:37 smallvanillaicelatte 17F Anyone want to watch a movie from the 70's with me?

Hii I'm just looking for a chill person to hang out and watch a movie on discord with. Anyone down? Please be around my age and very chill. I live in the US cst time zone, so it'd be cool if you were also from the US. Dm me and we can hang out :)
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2022.01.29 01:37 acdcay HOT WHEELS TEST RUN PROTOTYPES

HOT WHEELS TEST RUN PROTOTYPES submitted by acdcay to HotWheels [link] [comments]

2022.01.29 01:37 DoktorVinter I [F28] broke it off with an online (LDR) partner [M25]

A little venting.. Honestly.. I'm happy, but sad. If that makes sense. But I feel immense guilt for leaving. I am fast to fall for people. I have BPD, so the feelings are intense even online. We had a long distance relationship, Sweden-England. And the plan was of course to meet this year. Like, hopefully pretty close to the beginning of the year, too. Like February. We only dated for 2 months and... 12 days. But it felt like a lifetime at one point. When we did connect, it felt amazing. But I realized more and more that I gave way more than I got back from him. I gave so much of myself to him, he knew me on such a deep level. And I was open to share most of my life with him. All my baggage, my background, my traumas. My every day life. I told him whenever I was going somewhere, when I would be back and everything. (He almost never talked about what was happening in his every day life.) And I mean, he was supposedly open to listening to me talk about my life, but I did not receive what I needed in the form of feedback or comfort when feedback or comfort was expected. I could go days wondering what was going on in his life, because some days he would just write like ~7 words to me all day. While I would maybe write at least 14 messages with lots of sentences per message. I know it sounds excessive. But 1 day is 12 hours. That's not a lot of time spent on someone you supposedly "love" and call your partner.
I guess I should have seen some warning signs, like him telling me he loved me after 3 weeks. I mean, I felt the same way (or so I thought), but it was still way too early, even for me to say it. And now it feels really weird. Creating and fantasizing about a future with someone I really barely know. I know some stuff. But not a lot. And his defense is that he's a private person. But yeah, that defense didn't cut it for me this time, even though I understand it from a rational standpoint. I can't be with someone who doesn't share as much as I do. Which is why I ended it, I think. I felt unseen. I felt alone. Lonely. Forgotten at times. And like all that mattered was his life and me supporting him. And never the other way around. When we had fights, he always offered to leave if I wanted him to. Which was weird, that he always went there. He always constantly said that I deserved better. And in the end, he was right.
Long story short.. I am proud of myself for choosing myself. Choosing to love myself and "date" myself now finally. I've had these thoughts for a while but I've just not been ready. I've been so afraid of the loneliness. But I am so done with dating for a while now. Done with sex, done with people, done with making out whilst drunk, done with being hypersexual (thanks BPD....). Yeah, no. I'm just gonna love myself for a while and see what happens. I am realizing that I was probably rebounding from my abusive ex fiancé. And maybe I'm finally ready to heal now..
TLDR; I broke up with a LD online boyfriend of 2 months because I didn't feel appreciated enough and instead chose to focus on self love and healing from an abusive past relationship.
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2022.01.29 01:37 Luis-Elias I will always remember savannah

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2022.01.29 01:37 ChazGower Karen Yoshida -AKB48 (吉田華恋) [Weekly Playboy] 2022.02.07

Karen Yoshida -AKB48 (吉田華恋) [Weekly Playboy] 2022.02.07 submitted by ChazGower to GravureNow [link] [comments]

2022.01.29 01:37 Born_Sky6284 Help? I was reading up on why my spider plant may be browning like this. My initial guess was that the place I put it was actually brighter than i thought, but I also read that they’re very sensitive to fluoride? Is that a thing? Should I cut this dead part off and find a little less bright spot?

Help? I was reading up on why my spider plant may be browning like this. My initial guess was that the place I put it was actually brighter than i thought, but I also read that they’re very sensitive to fluoride? Is that a thing? Should I cut this dead part off and find a little less bright spot? submitted by Born_Sky6284 to houseplants [link] [comments]

2022.01.29 01:37 Big_Contribution4961 Kimchi Bacon Bokkeumbap

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2022.01.29 01:37 kiryu-san1988 Finally got it after months of anticipation, out now for the A52!

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2022.01.29 01:37 RoaringRaven2020 R Help "a:b" notation

Hi, I am very knew to r. I have a problem which is the following: The “a:b” notation in R builds sequences with a step of +1 when ab. Give an example of each, where both a and b are integers. What happens if a is non-integer? What happens if b is non-integer? Give an example and explain how the “:”sequences work.
Here is my work:
#The sequences work if both a and b are integers. If a>b then step of +1 is used, when a I get an error message for the last two. I am not sure how to do it right.
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2022.01.29 01:37 fullpotion_ It's an aquarium with a temple made in it

I posted the process of making it on my YouTube channel.
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2022.01.29 01:37 brophy87 ‘It broke me’: Teen with autism beaten up by adult while out for a walk in Surrey, B.C. - BC | Globalnews.ca

‘It broke me’: Teen with autism beaten up by adult while out for a walk in Surrey, B.C. - BC | Globalnews.ca submitted by brophy87 to SurreyBC [link] [comments]

2022.01.29 01:37 fbiwatchvan Searching for a Patrol route tracking app

Does anyone know of, or use an app on their phone that tracks your route while at work?
I’m looking for something to map out my mobile patrol route. Kind of like when you do an Apple Watch run workout where it will track and show you the path that you ran.
I’m on IOS by the way.
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2022.01.29 01:37 sir_omicron Talk about your rental experience here

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2022.01.29 01:37 No-Job7339 LIKE BIRD_UP, ONLY ON OPENSEA.

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2022.01.29 01:37 AffectionateStatus81 Rose McIver

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